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There was no reciprocation, only giving from him to her. I cried for the three of us until I heard the door open in my room and he came in. Again I was lying on my tummy, and again he massaged my back, not saying a word. Finally he asked how long I had been at the doorway and how much had I seen. I turned over, searched his sad face and whispered, “Everything.” He started to leave and I begged, “Dad, don’t go. Talk to me.” The next hour was intense. He told me that this had been his life for the last 10 years since mom started drinking herself into a nightly stupor. He told me she had had trouble staying sober and that now she didn’t even try anymore. He told me that he grieved for me that I didn’t get more love and attention from her, and that he tried to make it up to me. He told me that it was all he could do to stay away from me and not touch me in a special way. He told me that night after night he wanted to come into my room and be with me in any way he could to make it better,. With his mother struggling just to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads, they couldn't afford to go all over tracking down lost relatives. He found out in a letter from his Aunt Peggy to his mother, written when Steve was about nine years old, that Steve's father had moved out to California in order to try to start a new life.Through this letter, and another that his aunt had written when Steve was in his mid-teens, Steve found out that his father had started out as a janitor in an aerospace company, and had then gone to school at night, earned his G.E.D., then went to U.C.L.A. at night, finally earning his bachelor's degree in electrical engineering in eight years.In the last letter that Peggy had written to Steve's mother before she died, Steve learned more about what had happened to his father. After graduation, John Stone moved up to Silicon Valley, where he got in on the ground floor with a new computer manufacturer. John Stone lived hand to mouth for a couple of.
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